Solitude
by starooo
Summary: Natsume Hyuuga thought maybe this time, he could finally let go of Mikan Sakura. He could wait for her. And by the next time they’d meet, he’ll tell her how much he loves her. Just like how he did every Christmas. NxM


**Solitude**

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Elly, Danica, Michaela and Cathy.

—_Thanks for the superb gifts, they made me smile. Like a humongous, tooth-paste, dental white, smile. You guys are just beyond awesome. Love you. :)_

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He frowned, his hand casually tugging the hem of his tie. He smiled at himself. Maybe today he'll stop thinking of her. Well, just for today.

"Hey," Ruka called out, peeking into the bathroom. "We're going to be late, Natsume."

"Since when do you care about being late?" He looked at his best friend through the mirror. "Do you remember the last dance back in 2003? The look on Narumi's face was priceless." A smile lingered on his face. Them. Ruka and Natsume. Nothing would break them apart. Not even a girl. It was already proved. They were like brothers/twins/partners in crime.

If you take a look at them, you'd think they were homos. Or that they were in love with each other. But take another good look at the pair and you'd think otherwise. They were just so… comparable. Just like that.

"Yeah." Ruka chuckled, resisting the urge to run his hand through his hair. "But the Christmas party six years ago was awesome."

"Six years ago?" He repeated. "I couldn't remember."

"You know, when we skipped half of it and came exactly at the middle of the event," He looked at the disturbed gaze Natsume had. Ruka swallowed the lump in his throat. "You know… when you and Sakura-san…"

"Oh." His eyes closed for a moment as he opened the faucet and washed his hands. He walked out of the bathroom and grabbed his coat. "Can't quite recall it." It pained him to say it. He remembered it clearly than he thought he would. Every single moment that night, the talk they had on that tree, and how she argued that it wasn't a kiss but a _tooth-kiss._ Six years, he shut his mind from Mikan Sakura. Their little talks, when they bicker about the slightest things and how he loved her. He tried everything he could to keep her away from his thoughts.

But there were times when he'd lie down in his bed for a few hours and he'd think of nothing but her. And it was unconscious to his part. He'd think about her smile, how she looked like when she left, and how he felt so pathetic when he saw her leave and he couldn't do anything about it.

"Sorry," He bit his bottom lip. "I just never had the time to think about it."

And he didn't even bother to wait for Ruka when he left the room.

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"Where the _hell_ were you?" Hotaru came close to the two, slipping her phone in her pocket. "I've been calling both of you for the past hour." She crossed her arms, glaring at the Hyuuga and his apprentice.

"And?" Natsume stared at the dancing pairs. He told himself he'd show up. But he didn't expect himself to be feeling like this. Everywhere he looked reminded him of her. And he hated it.

"What do you mean 'and?'" She clicked her heels on the marble tiles as she maintained on keeping her cool. "The event was pushed back for five minutes because of you. _Including my robot show." _It was something she'd been preparing for the past week. Many businessmen had arrived to witness the show she had placed, but then waited for nothing. Hotaru reminded herself to shoot him with her baka canon when the event finishes.

Ruka knew how important that was for Hotaru, and by the look on Natsume's face, nothing good's going to happen for the next hour if they keep on talking. He moved instantly and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry, Hotaru. We got carried away."

"Which is you're not supposed to." She looked at Ruka and then at Natsume. "You play an important part in the Academy. Everything's changed. It's not all fun and games anymore. The game you play in your so-called 'battlefield' is dangerous. One wrong move can lead into a big consequence."

"You don't need to tell me that, Imai." He was looking at the balcony. It was almost dark, but he could see the snow falling on the ground. His eyes were steady at the white droplets of ice but his mind was elsewhere. Since he came in the academy, he already knew it. What Hotaru had just said had been repeated to him for so many times he didn't even bother to count it.

"Whatever." She pulled Ruka over to the buffet table. "But I'm not done with you yet, Hyuuga. Not just yet."

He smirked. "We'll see about that."

"You guys…" Ruka groaned. "Let it go already, let's pretend we're one happy group of friends… just for today."

"Don't count me in your little boy-band." She rolled her eyes and waved at Hyuuga, her eyes glaring at him from afar. "And we're _not_ friends."

Hyuuga looked at the couple, chuckling. Mikan Sakura was the only reason why they talked. And now that she's gone, everything's back to normal. Like how they were back then. Hotaru and Natsume had a lot in common. So many he had lost count already. But one thing's for sure. Mikan Sakura played an important part in their lives.

He was seated next to the principals. Ever since the start of big events and such, he was always assigned to sit next the principals. Natsume didn't know whether it was to insult him. He wasn't the type to grab attention, sit and look pretty the whole time. But Persona always reminded him that his importance in the academy equals that of the principals. And he couldn't care less.

Natsume looked at the students dancing to the slow ballad as he placed his leg over the other. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, in an attempt to keep him awake. He looked at his watch.

_12:00 PM_

The clock chimed and Natsume stood up, excusing himself as he went to the restroom. The halls were longer than the ones in the Middle School Division. The design was complex, in a good sense, as well. It was the first time he took notice of it. They were beautiful pieces. Something that could be placed up in the Lourve.

The restroom was pretty classical when it came to the interior. It looked more like a parlour than of a restroom. The couch was pretty comfy too. Natsume stared at himself in the mirror and washed his face. The cold water felt good on his skin. He smiled, pulling his handkerchief out from his pocket and wiped himself. He walked out of the room and placed his hands in his pockets.

_12:20_

"Hey! You!" A voice called. His heart might've skipped a beat if he wasn't too sleepy to recognize the voice. He continued to walk. "N-Na-Na-Natsume-kun! Wait!"

He turned, shocked, though not that evident in his face. He clutched the handkerchief tightly in his hand. And for the next few moments, he took aside everything he was thinking about and pulled Mikan Sakura into an embrace.

_12:28_

"H-hey—" She pulled him away from her. "What's wrong?"

"Where have you been all this time?" He wrapped his arms around her body tighter. The smell of citrus and red, soft, cherry blossoms lingering under his nostrils were keeping him awake, alive, and conscious. He was sure he wasn't dreaming. "I thought you weren't gonna come back." He gritted through his teeth. He could stay like this for as long as he could. As long as ever. To make up for the time she was lost. He didn't have the heart to remove her hair on his face. The smell of shampoo and conditioner, though strong, it was the smell he already had memorized in his head. She didn't change. Everything about her was still the same. Everything he loved about Mikan Sakura didn't change.

_12:40_

"Natsume?"

"But…" He trailed his fingertips on her cheek, her chin and the lines of her lips. Since she was gone for six years, he thought, maybe she didn't want to interact with the academy anymore. Or maybe… maybe she didn't want to come back. Back to her friends, back to her dorm that she once called home, back to him. He wanted to keep her in a box, lock it and put it away. Just for him. But that was too selfish. He could at least protect her. But seeing how she had escaped. He had failed to. And for him, he couldn't just forgive himself because of that.

"You came back."

Being like this, standing a few feet outside the restroom, in the middle of the freezing hallway, half a mile away from the ball, seemed too impossible for the both of them. He wanted to ask her what happened, why didn't she come? Why couldn't she visit? A hundred questions sprung to his lips, but died there. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't even utter a decent sentence.

It's been years since he felt like this. The feeling of holding something much more important than all of the Alices, the riches and the fame in the world combined.

"Yes." She smiled. _Her _smile for _him._ "For everyone. For Hotaru-chan, Ruka-pyon, You-kun, Sumire-chan… and you. I came back for you."

Those words. It was like his heart, which felt like shattered glass in his body for the past six years, was never broken. Like it was replaced with something new. Something that's alive and beating. Something that was beating a hundred thousand beats for the girl in his arms. Just like what he wanted, just like what he imagined. _She came back._

"Will you…?" He was afraid to continue. It was like one word would break her. One word, one mistake and one sentence he'd make would make her run away like she did. But he knew deep down she can't stay. She still has lots to do. It's just not possible. But something in that new heart of his was beating a tinge of hope in him.

She frowned. "No." Her hands squeezed his tightly. "Not yet. I have to help my Mom. It's not safe for us yet."

He closed his eyes. "I'll protect you." He breathed heavier, his heart pounding faster. "I'll protect you even until it drains all the Alice in my body."

"You can't." She pushed herself away from him. "Don't do it for me. It'll be on my conscience if you get sick." Or die. But she was too afraid to say it out loud.

"Then stay here tonight."

Mikan Sakura traced the melting snow on the marble pillar with her fingers.

"Yes." She grinned. "Definitely."

_12:58_

"Snow's marvellous, isn't it?" She wrapped the shawl tighter as they entered the hall. It was like six years ago. How she loved it. She always loved Christmas. White Christmas, to be exact. Ever since she was little she had always marvelled the white, cotton-like balls that fell from the sky.

"Not marvellous." He pulled her close as he led her in the dance floor. "But beautiful. You love snow."

"Yes, yes I do." She followed his lead as they danced into the slow ballad. Mikan was glad she placed a mask on. No one noticed her. Not even the teachers. Only Hotaru and the others knew she was there. She had talked to them before seeking out the Hyuuga. "And you love…" She was starting a question out of curiosity.

"Hm?" He interrupted, taking a step back, then forward, and then in for another turn. "Do you know what I love?" A ghost of a smile played on his lips. If this happens to be a dream, then it'll be a dream he'd cherish for as long as he could. This was a surprise gift from her. Appearing at the ball at a time he'd never expect her to come. Mikan Sakura surely has her perks.

"Underwear. Duh." She stuck her tongue out as the song came to an end. She laughed.

"That's not even funny, you know."

"Okay, okay." She pulled him out to the balcony as the other students came to rush to where they went, shouting something about a Christmas countdown.

"Hey everybody!" A voice on the speakers said. _"Ready on 3…"_

Mikan wrapped her arms around Natsume and rested her chin on his shoulder. "I could stay like this forever." She whispered. And she couldn't have said it any better. He hugged her waist, his fingers tapping on her waistband as he kissed her forehead.

"_2…."_

"Are you going to leave soon?" He said. His hands on her waist getting tighter. He didn't want to let go. She was too precious for him. Six years had passed and his feelings for her never changed. Her feelings for him grew stronger and deeper. Nothing could break them apart.

"Yes." Mikan pushed him away, looking up at him. "I'd be gone as soon as the fireworks end."

"_1…."_

Boom. Boom. Boom. Beautiful colors of red, blue, pink, green, orange and white colored the monochrome clouds. Natsume turned to her. "You know what I really love?"

Mikan encircled her arms around his neck. "Do you know mine?"

"Yes." He said, breathing on her face.

"Me too." She laughed, her nose poking his.

Before they could utter another word, their lips met. It was either a goodbye kiss or a kiss that either both of them couldn't forget. Maybe it was something about Christmas that made kissing three times better.

"_Merry Christmas!" _

"It's you." Natsume whispered and Mikan did, shortly after him. And they kissed for the last time.

And surely enough, Mikan was gone as soon as the fireworks ended and nothing but a dark grey cloud covered the sky. And as he looked at the stars peeking through the thick smoke in the air, he thought maybe this time, he could finally let go of Mikan Sakura. He could wait for her. And by the next time they'd meet, he'll tell her how much he loves her. Just like how he just did this Christmas.

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**Author's Notes:**

Merry Christmas, folks. :-)


End file.
